{fifteen}

For fifteen years this boy has been my sidekick.

He is so me in many ways, a bit his dad,

 and completely sure of where he is going with his life.

His wit and humor have had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe

and his willingness to help out makes me proud.

His reasoning and logic skills are scary brilliant and noticed by most that meet him!

I think we've raised a great kid that has an amazing future ahead.

Happy Birthday Zackery!

We love you and are so very proud of the man you are becoming!

{processing}

The events of 12-14-12 are racing through my mind.

This momma and teacher is rocked to the core...

How in the world could something so insane happen at an elementary school?

My heart is broken for all the families and the staff in Newtown...

how will they move forward...

how will they process all the loss and fear they must have endured?

I sent a text to Kenny after I heard about this tragedy at school...

"Have you seen the news?"

His response...

"I'm trying not to watch...it's too close to home."

I am so thankful for those brave people that responded to protect the babies in their care.

I hope I would do the same...

I've thought about where I would place my students in the classroom if we had a lock down...

I don't want to ever have to use that plan, but in this world full of anger 

it's important to be ready.

My winter break began at 12:30pm and I was on the way home by 1:00pm...

ready to see my babies and get them home safe and sound.

I am aching for the mommas who weren't able to do that.

I was able to see my boys at their school happy and playing with their friends...

oblivious to the horrors in Connecticut.

I am so thankful we are on winter break now...

I need some time with my babies and some time to process everything.

May God's comfort and blessing surround Newtown, Connecticut and the nation as we all sift through the thoughts and emotions brought forth by this horrible incident...

Until next time,

Our Story

On Monday Kenny and I will celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary, but our story began long before that.  

We first met in a programming class while we were attending college.  After a lot of flirting and tickle fights we started seeing each other on a pretty regular basis.  I was pretty sure I had strong feelings for him after a couple of months of seeing each other.  

We had fun together, he made me laugh, he was (is) super cute, and so very smart.  We just fit.

Then everything changed.  My sister had moved in with me, school was going full force, I was pretty much working full time, and the man I had poured my heart out to decided he didn't want us to date any more.  He sat next to me on my had-me-down sofa, tears in his eyes and told me we were done.  I was heartbroken.

That break-up was really confusing since we still talked to each other on the phone pretty often.  We might not be dating, but we had become best friends and not talking to each other was not going to work.  One of our friends finally had enough of this nonsense between Kenny and me.   

We had both been talking to him about each other, 

completely unaware of the others conversations.

Finally, one night he got both of us together and laid it all on the table, we either needed to get back together or quit talking to each other at all.  He was the counselor we didn't know we needed!

We looked at each other and knew that we would rather try again than give up our connection.  I don't think we had any idea what would happen next, but we were willing to go down that road together.  About three months later we got the shock of our lives...

a baby was on the way.

to be continued...

Sharing my heart along with Miss Casey

Reflecting

As we all begin 2011 I keep reflecting on all the things that happened in our lives during 2010. Looking back I think 2010 was a rough year for my family emotionally, but a stellar year for us to grow and learn and become closer than ever.

2010 began with the worry that I would be losing my grandmother. It was a blow that I was not expecting. Her health has been a roller coaster ride for my entire family. She is still kicking and my family had the pleasure of being her caretakers for a couple of days last weekend. Her spirit is shaken, but she is hanging in there!

We all thought we would lose my grandmother, but instead it was my grandfather that passed away. He had just worn himself out taking care of my grandmother for so long. He is at peace and he is missed everyday.

The summer of 2010 was a good one. We began the season with a quick beach trip to see some friends. The boys discovered surfing and boogie boarding and K and I learned we need to take our wedding rings off when we hit the beach! K was so sad to lose his ring, but things like that happen. The overall trip was awesome and I renewed my love of San Diego!

Our school year began with a bang. The boys excelled in their classes and I struggled with students who were not even close to being ready for 2nd grade. This school year has been a huge struggle for me. I am trying to make the best out of a bad situation, but it is a major challenge some days!

The beginning of the school also brought great joy and excitement and sorrow and heartbreak in the span of a week. We have been wanting to add on to our family for quite some time and in August we thought that that time had finally come. I was overjoyed at the prospect of having another baby, but my joy was quickly replaced when I miscarried. It all happened so fast I don't know if I even really processed everything. Some days I catch myself daydreaming about being pregnant. I never thought I would ever lose a pregnancy, but it did happen and I stinks!

My sewing has been my savior in relieving stress and keeping me occupied! I have been able to make some extra money too! I am hoping in 2011 my sewing continues to help us financially and me emotionally. K has been working on a website for me, so maybe I will be selling my goods on the web this year and not just locally.

We have really looked at our finances in 2010 and we have a pretty good idea of what we want to do and how we can do it. K is continuing his job hunt. We have reduced our bills quite a bit, so he doesn't have to find a super high paying job. I am hoping he finds something where he can use his talents and be truly happy. I know there is something out there, we just have to keep looking.

Our 2010 was a bumpy ride, but we hung in there and made it through stronger than before. I am hopeful that 2011 will be better for us and that we will all continue to thrive.

Until next time,

We Will Never Forget

I will never forget the horror and sadness and fear I felt the morning of September 11, 2001. Living in California we were so far away from the tragedy, but not from the uncertainty of everything. I just wanted to hold K, Z, and baby L and not leave our house. I had been scheduled to work later in the day and K was getting ready to leave when it all unfolded before our eyes on the news. I was scared for K because he worked in a government building, but they wanted everyone to come in anyway. I worked in a mall at the time and they shut it down for a couple of days, so I was able to stay home with my babies.

I was so proud to be an American that horrible day because we all came together to stand up for all those that were lost. My heart still hurts and tears still fill my eyes when I see footage from that day. I will never forget the sinking feeling in my stomach as the world I knew would be forever changed.

Nine years later we still stand together and refuse to forget those people who went to work on a typical Tuesday not knowing how their day would become torn and tangled at the hands of evil. We hold their memories up for all to see. Americans are unlike any other people in the world and on that fateful day the world found out how deep the red, white, and blue runs in our veins.